Sunset
by babybluecas
Summary: Each time it gets harder to say goodbye.


Another oldie, pre-9x06

* * *

"So you're taking off again." There's a note of resignation in Dean's voice as he leans against the hood of the Impala, next to the former angel.

"Dean," Cas says his name softly under his breath. "You know I have to. I can't stay."

The light of ending sunset plays with shadows on Cas's face, washing away the traces of weariness and worry, making it radiant somehow. Dean struggles to take his eyes off him and gaze at the deep oranges and reds on the horizon, slowly giving way to ink blue of a starless night sky.

"I know," he says. "I just wish you could."

He feels Cas's stare on the side of his face as he tries desperately to hold it together. It shouldn't be this hard. It's not like he didn't expect this meeting in passing to be just another goodbye. Still, he couldn't help hoping this time he'd stay.

"Just stay for the night."

"Dean…" It's that same tone again, the apology, the begging not to make this even harder, to let him go. All contained in this one small word.

Dean's palm wanders to the buttons of his jacket. He does them up as he takes a deep breath, just to break the stillness of the air around them. He has to clear his throat, before he can trust his own voice again.

"Yeah, well, just remember what I told you, okay?" It's easier to move the subject to the simple things, the important human stuff he taught Cas within those few short hours together. "Hold on to that credit card, but don't use it too often. And when you need cash, just call me, alright?"

There is so much that Cas hasn't told him about, that's for sure. The details he spared Dean, out of mercy or out of shame, about his time all alone. The things he had to do to survive so many weeks on his own. Things Dean can't even bear himself to think of. He's let Cas down, when he needed him most. He won't let him down again.

"And one more thing," he adds when Cas nods. "I've got something for you."

The man's eyes follow him curiously as he walks around the car and reaches through the rolled-down window for something hidden in the compartment. Small, plastic and black. He hands it to Cas and reclaims to his place on the hood. Or maybe a place a little bit to the left, closer to Cas, because suddenly he can feel the heat of his body in the cool air of the dusk.

"Sorry it's a shitty model not an iPhone or something, but I figured it's less likely to get stolen."

Cas weighs the cell phone in his palm for a moment and lights up the screen with a custom wallpaper. It's still a better model than the one he used to own long time ago and it's enough to gave Dean a call from time to time. And more importantly, to let Dean call him back, since he can no longer kneel and pray to the fallen angel.

With Castiel's "thank you" they go quiet again. The sun will soon be completely gone. Neither of them wants to be the first to say goodbye. Neither of them wants the sunset to be over. The sunset that pours into the blue of Cas's irises and paints them incredibly dark, as they stare into Dean's eyes.

Dean feels Castiel shiver, sharp thrill going through his body. They barely even move – just inches – to close the distance between them. Their lips touch in the mutual desperation. Cas's lips are chapped, but Dean couldn't care less. All he knows is his heat and his closeness and for that one moment Cas is here and Cas is his. Before he can slip away again, Cas is closer than he's ever been, feels more solid than he'll ever feel.

"Just promise me that you'll come back," Dean whispers into his skin in the dying sunset.

"I promise," Cas murmurs back, pressing kisses like it's all he's ever known, like it's the only good thing that exists. "I promise."

They don't say goodbye that night. Not when the western sky gets drown in blackness, not when their breaths and whispers fill the darkness. Not when the heat of their bodies becomes one on the backseat of the car. They'll say goodbye in the sunrise, but until then, they have all night not to say goodbye.


End file.
